**_______________A WILD LIFE______________

THE YIN YANG

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tuesday 27th March 2007

Been through a lot of emotions lately. I've hit the highs and the lows. The one thing that I hate being a woman is we have what we call "emotions". I hate it because it shows my weaknesses. Emotions can get so raw, so vulnerable, so open to hurt and pain. How come men do not get it that much? How come their hearts are somehow much colder and the pain can be erased faster and their wounds are like instant eraser. Sigh! I can choose to be an Ice Queen too but I didn't want to be an Ice Queen because then I will close up to all emotions and feelings. I choose the later cos' I need to be more human and more womanly. That's the God's given gift to all women.

Yes, I've a confession to make. I fell for my Pure Native but things didn't work out and believe it or not we're still writing to each other as special friends. We believe that we're crazy enough to continue such a weird, crazy friendship over the net. Pure Native is one cool fella. He is unique and special in his own way. He is gentle and speaks softly. At the same time he can be a savage too. He is a hunter and totally in love with his beautiful nature. Where else can be more awesome than Grand Canyon. He is the one and only kind in this world. A true Hopi. He is really patient and has high tolerance of Chinese Town Bumpkin's eratic behavior. He even reads all my long-winded's mails. He's got a terrible sense of humour and is a very self-sufficient man.

It's amazing that he still stay on as my special friend. We've been through a lot together with our frank discussions about what we want. Honestly speaking, I do not know where we're heading but we kinda didn' t want to let go of each other. Our friendship is too precious to let go. We understand each other very well and somehow we can be very open to each other and yak about anything under the sky. We can yak about boring stuff, funny stuff, happy stuff, work stuff and sometimes not too happy stuff like our frustrations, our lows, ..........

Pure Native loves me as a friend but I'm in love with him. How can I not love such a man? Well, I know that sometimes no matter how much we love someone, the sad thing is we cannot be with the person we love. So life goes on ..............

So sometimes I ask myself, "Should I be sad or be happy?", "Should I be grateful to have known my Pure Native?" or maybe we shouldn't have known each other at all in the first place. Then I will not feel the pain and hurt........What do you think? Truthfully, I still don't have the best answer. The only thing I know is I'm happy to receive his mails. His mails still make me laugh and make my day!

Labels: My Wild Life

-------------------LIVE HIGH!LIVE WILD!--------------- ; {11:40 PM}
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

When I was a little girl, I used to follow my grandma to Penang by bus. We will visit my aunties, uncle and my cousins every Chinese New Year. They used to live in a huge house. They were then a devout Taoist. They do celebrate Chinese New Year in a big way. I was excited and always look forward to the New Year cos' I get to wear new clothes and I get to receive ang pows. Just a brief introduction to my two two aunties. One is called "Tuah Pooi Mak" (my so called nickname for my big auntie:- it literally means "fat mama"). I don't even know how on earth I came up with that nickname. Somehow it got stuck and I always call her that name until the day she passed away. The other auntie is called "Ah Kek Ee" (the younger auntie). The interesting thing is that both of them married the same man. It was a matchmaking marriage. The story goes like this:- My big auntie was beautiful and young and she was chosen to marry this rich man in Penang. His name is Kong Soon. My big auntie was nervous about being married to a stranger (plus the thought of getting married, I think - who wouldn't?) In Chinese custom, when a woman is married, she has to leave her own family and follows her husband's family. Traditionally a Chinese woman is taught from the very young age to respect and be obedient to the elders and including her future husband. Her priority is to serve her husband, her in-laws and her children. My big auntie agreed to marry provided her younger sister follows along with her. That leds to my younger auntie "Ah Kek Ee" getting married to her older sister's husband as well. Wah! that must be very lucky for the man, right? Anyway, each of my auntie bore five children and they have ten children altogether. Isn't that amazing? Thank God, I wasn't born in that era. I've too much spirit and rebellious streak in me to be born in that era. Hahahaha.......

Let's get back to my Chinese New Year story. What I like best about Chinese New Year is all the traditions, food, colours, the ang pows, the lion dance, fire works that go with it. Oh how I miss the fire crackers and one can never get tired of the lion or dragon dance. I haven't seen one this year yet. Truthfully, I'm not the typical traditional Chinese girl but I do appreciate and respect the traditions and customs that we have especially in Malaysia. If I'm still married, I'll probably have to follow my husband's family's traditions. Since I'm single now, it's almost like I can do anything I want. Heeheehee.......Travis my second son who will surprises you whenever his wisdoms creeps into his brain mentioned one day that "without customs/tradition, civilizations will be lost" (he must have read it somewhere). It's nice to share our traditions with our children and be involved in the celebration. My children can be consider "yellow banana" (Chinese but speak and think in English although they all have studied 6 years in Chinese school but unfortunately they are hopeless in Mandarin except for Tyler) but they do understand the traditions and respect them because my ex-husband's family is Cantonese and my in-laws do practice and follow the Chinese traditions and customs. In fact, a lot of the Chinese traditions I've learned them from my mother-in-law.

When I was married, we used to go back to my in- laws' home for the reunion dinner. My in-laws are very good cook. They will dished out lots of delicious yummy food. After the reunion dinner, my in-laws will give each of us ang-pows. Even though, we were married but we are still considered their children. For the Cantonese, the first day of Chinese New Year, lunch and dinner will be vegetarian. No meat! I love the vegetarian food that my mother-in-law cooks. I do miss that and in-fact I do miss all their cooking and the merry making cos' my in-laws have six children and that is a big family for me since I am the only lone ranger in my family. Sigh!

After my divorced, for I usually celebrate Chinese New Year alone and reunion dinner will be with my auntie Sally's family (Ee Poh) . Her husband is Francis and she has two children. Daphne is the oldest and she is married to Sheldon and they have two children. Handsome Jordan who is 8 years old and pretty and vivacious Megan is 7 years old. Damian, my other cousin is not married yet. Still dating his girlfriend of 10 years. Gee, that's pretty long. This year my auntie cooked "kiam chai ark" (it's a salty and sour soup with preserved salted vegetables, duck, pig's trotter, sour plum and nutmeg). It's one of our favourite soup. The other food are - pig's trotter cooked with soya bean paste, garlic, dried chilli, soya sauce and thick soya sauce, curry prawns and last but not least is our traditional vegetable dish called "jiu hoo char". The dish is made up of shredded thinly carrots, cabbage, taro, soya bean paste, some pork strips and thinly shredded dried cuttlefish. The hot stuff that goes with all the food will be "sambal belacan". Can't have food without it since we're Hokkien Nyonya from Penang. "Sambal Belacan" is a must. We still use the traditional mortar to pound fresh red chillies, with the "smelly" shrimp paste (belacan). Um-mm....yummy smelly goody chillies. My favourite!!

Now I'm back at home happy cleaning and having a war with the house dusts. Feeling happy throwing some old junk without my kids' knowledge. I managed to clear the girls' room, my store room, Travis's room and now I'm gonna attack my personal room which looks more like a store room to me. heeheehee.......After my mission accomplished, I'll shall have a cold bath and probably catch up with a movie or take a power nap or vice versa. We'll see how it goes.

Labels: My Wild Life

-------------------LIVE HIGH!LIVE WILD!--------------- ; {9:04 AM}
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Get together with some friends

Well, for a change this year I'm having some friends come over to my home for a Chinese New Year get together. I finally decided to cook three dishes. First is lotus root soup, second is our old family recipe that has minced pork cutlet with sliced fried potatoes and big onions and last but not least is "asam fish curry". Andy is also cooking up some dishes. Karen To who just came back from Ogden. Utah is currently on her Chinese New Year vacation. She has been missing for three years and she has decided to finally settle in US. Still searching for her Mr Right and the right chemistry. She and her chemistry. She probably expects some fireworks or firecrackers when she finally meets her right beau. Other than that, she will be busy working while patiently waiting for her friends to set her on dates till she meets her Mr Right. Karen and me are the last ones out of our old single gang who haven't got hitched yet. We have time to catch up on old times and of course we yak about how hard it is to find the right man in this world right now.
What else is new?

We also invited the couple missionary, the Gregorys' and Rose and her kids, Ezra and Sean to join us for our get-together. There were lots of food and after that we had Family Home Evening. Elder and Sister Gregory taught the lesson on family and the importance of working together in the family. It's fun to be with our friends and it's nice to be together - sharing and laughing.

Labels: My Wild Life

-------------------LIVE HIGH!LIVE WILD!--------------- ; {12:19 AM}
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Monday, February 12, 2007

Hooray! I finally did it.

I always wanted to have my own blog and it took me quite a while to get this done. Procrastination is one of my weaknesses and I decided to do this since it's a new year - new resolution, new goal, new me, blah,blah,blah. I'd like to thank my son Tyler who inspired me with his blog, Travis my other son who helped me with my blog layout, Tricia my princess who helped me with the setting, my girlfriend Ai Lian for helping me to register and to kick off this blog and last but not least to my special fella, Hopi friend Pure Native, who enjoys all the mails that I wrote to him. Pure Native thinks my mails are amusing, crazy, confusing at times, always nutty and long winded (most of the times). After few months of writing to each other, I believe it's time for me to have another outlet for me to pen my crazy, overflowing thoughts, nutty ideas, colourful experiences of my life.

I didn't realised that I've so much to write until I started corresponding with Pure Native. Too many crazy thoughts running in my head. I must fed the poor fella with too many junk in his brain folder about Chinese Town Bumpkin and her life in Malaysia.

Labels: My Wild Life

-------------------LIVE HIGH!LIVE WILD!--------------- ; {12:30 AM}
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Chinese Town Bumpkin

Recipe on Love - 'Dance as if no one's is watching, love as if it's never going to hurt' -Stuart Appleby

Tricks of my life
'Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today'
-James Dean

- A friend is the man who knows all about you and still likes you'-Elbert Hubbard

Looking Glass
- We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the
mental instituition of the universe.- Goethe

Peaceful Exits

Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess | Princess

Credits

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The Past

February 2007
March 2007

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